I am _____ right now:
I am - Relaxing. Pretty sure I'm going to be in "vacation mode" until January. It's been a long year and I am loving the short weeks (hubby is taking every Monday off this last quarter) and all the festivities. Sometimes you just need to let go and rest.
I wonder - How my daughter will react on her second Christmas - she's only 1 and is at the 'delighted with everything' stage - I foresee a LOT of cuteness.
I see - Time slipping by. I just turned 29 and sometimes I wonder where the last 10 years went. I still feel 19 - how did I get here?
I want - To live in contentment and use my life to serve others. SOOO much easier said than done. I have so much love to give and so many people I want to help, but I have NO idea where to start...
I pretend - That I have it all together - but if you've been following me at all, you know that I'm really one big mess :p Everyone always says "just do the best that you can" - but how am I supposed to feel when I know that I'm probably not?
I worry - That I'm not a good enough mother. That I'm 'messing up' my kids and that by the time I'm rested and sane and 'together' enough to know how to deal with them, it'll be too late. Or, I worry that I won't be around to worry about that at all.
I cry - Over everything these days. Seriously. From stress, over stupid commercials, for other people's pain, because I'm happy, for no reason at all. For someone who never used to cry, who was ashamed to cry, I sure get weepy these days.
I hope - That God will use me despite (or maybe because of) all my perceived shortcomings.
I dream - Of being perfectly content. Of days filled with sweet, snuggly, joyful moments with my children. Of having a clean, tidy house with real furniture in it. Of my blog and my shop taking off. Of finally finding my 'cause' and then fighting for it with all my strength.
I feel - Too much. Seriously, I am almost entirely to the F side of the Meyers-Briggs spectrum - even the most stupid, mundane things effect me on a very emotional level (I was driving by a pretty, sunny field the other day and I just wanted to cry because it was so beautiful). I want to get to know everyone I meet on a very deep level. I care too much. I feel too much. But in some ways, it's a beautiful thing.